2019 was the worst year of my life but I’ve been searching for some positives to come out of it. Things I can take into this new year and new decade and make sure I never have a year like it again.

The lowest points were Bodhi dying and splitting from Ryan after 10 years together but overall it was my mental health that nearly killed me.

I made a decision that, while I may have problems, I will not let them define me, they do not make me who I am, they just make up a small part of me.

I wrote it down… I no longer want to be labelled as mentally ill, an addict, a failure, incapable of looking after myself, unfit, fat or ugly.

The person who was labelling me the most, was myself! So I stopped, about a month ago. I will not be that person.

That was the easy bit.

Who do I want to be? Who am I going to be?

Obviously still me, but what kind of person do I want to see when I look at myself, when others look at me? It’s a long journey but I have some clarity already.

For those of you who know me, I’m not keen on new year resolutions. However, there is something beneficial in looking back at the past year and deciding to make positive changes for next year. And this is a new decade!

Reflection and Repositioning

What do you see when you look at yourself?

What do you think others see?

What do you want to be?   

You are the only one with the power to change it, believe me I know. I’ve been fighting for a year, in many different battles, no one could win them for me. It was down to me but I won them one by one.

I did have help, professional help and without it, I wouldn’t be here.

I wanted to give up but here I am, living in a new flat, getting used to being on my own, I still have my Studio, my clients, my life…

I made the decision to come off a lot of the medications that were making me feel blank and sedate (with the help of my doctor), I’ve gone through the withdrawals and come out the other side. I started running again, eating properly and looking after myself.

What do you want to change?

Are you ready to take responsibility for it?

Do you need help?

I’ve been helping women with exercise and nutrition for 18 years now, often changing lives and providing a safe comfortable environment for them to do that in. I want to continue with that, the fire in my belly is coming back and I have some great plans.

Regardless of the challenges we have in life, I think there is some common ground

We want to look and feel good about ourselves

We want to be healthy and fit

We want to eat good food and be free from illness

We want energy and passion to live our lives

We want to be happy

This all comes from within, it starts with you, only you have the power to change you and I can help.

For today, I just wanted to say, reflect on last year and think about how next year can be better. It can be anything, however small or gigantic it is and let me know what you come up with!


p.s. my lunchtime programme is half price for January sign ups, go HERE for info


Carolyne is the owner of Fit Strong Females with a Studio in Glasgow City Centre and an Online Membership Site, with 18 years experience. She is also a Fitness, Success and Food Blogger, Author and Writer. You can contact her at carolyne@fitstrongfemales.com or find more information at fitstrongfemales.com 

    2 replies to "2020 The Start of a New Decade"

    • Joyce

      Hi Carolyne,

      I’m sorry to hear that last year was so tough but I do believe that what doesn’t kill you makes .you stronger. I know that you have the inner strength to be whatever you want to be, you just need to want it badly enough. Wishing you all the best for 2020 and hopefully we can catch up sometime soon. Lots of love Joyce

    • Carolyne

      Thanks Joyce, yeah I believe that’ s all true. There is a period of time in limbo though, or recovery, I’ll be covering that in later posts. We should meet up xx

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